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Turning 20

tomorrow i turn 20
another addition to my hellish years
16 was cruel, 17 was brutal
18 was excruciating and 19 was unbearable 
and 20?
i'm few hours away from finding it out

growing up feels so scary
now that i'll be an grown adult
no one allows me to walk at my own pace
i have forgot what a walk is
so let me drown in the ocean of tears
as i mourn again tomorrow my loss of living life without fears

About- This poem was written on May 23, 2025; 9:29pm. In other words, i wrote it last night. To be honest, since the beginning of the year, i have been wondering about this and this feeling is scary because i'm no longer 18 or 19. My teenage years are behind me and i have entered into adulthood. I can no longer escape from my little messes as each will come with a price to pay. I can no longer stay grounded as i will have to join the race.