Fire in My Dreamland: An Epilogue

my dreams are what others chase

i have been mourning over something 

that everyone has

and everyone has a story about how it shattered

today i was confronted with a truth

that i had been ignoring for so long

it is my skills that matters the most

i love stars but maybe writing is what i was made for

Written on- February 18, 2026; 7:34pm.

This poem is part of "Fire in My Dreamland: A Poetry Series". Even though this epilogue poem was written before some of the poems i later wrote for this series, this poem still summarized the fate of mine. It ended with astronomy but found a beginning in writing. I will forever mourn that version of mine who almost had it all but time is moving forward and it won't stop for me to catch up with others. So you just have to move forward no matter how hard it gets. This thought is the only one that is driving me, otherwise i almost lost myself a year ago. 

Hanging from Shoulder

failure hangs from my shoulder

and it is too late to take my dreams back

they are now locked inside a vault

and fate hid the key inside a black hole

failure hangs from my shoulder

and my lover has long departed my shore

the one who shared the consciousness

the one who shared the dream

Written on- November 26, 2025; 8:03pm

This poem is part of "Fire in My Dreamland: A Poetry Series". 

Living a Dream

in my mind, i try to live a dream

where i go to my dream college

and has a perfect personal life

i have a lover waiting at my dorm

after i return from taking lectures

then we both look at the stars and fall asleep

in my mind, i try to live a dream

where i have nothing to fear about

and have a perfect college life

i have so many friends

with common goals and interests

and i just sit in the evening facing the sun.

Written on- December 24, 2025; 7:03pm

This poem is part of "Fire in My Dreamland: A Poetry Series". It is a re-imagined version for "A Savior in the War" poem except there is no need for a savior because its fictional and in that i never lost my dream for me to look for a savior. 

Behind Him

walking behind him

he is an old 'friend' of mine

but we rarely hold any conversation

he was the bane of my existence

stars in the sky

as i walk behind him like a loser

on my way to home, i remembered my struggles

and how he is living a dream i once sowed

Written on- December 21, 2025; 8pm

This poem is part of "Fire in My Dreamland: A Poetry Series". This poem is connected to "Evil Nerd: Part-II" from "Ashes of Us: The Haunted Chapter".

Bird Without Wings

i'm just  a bird surviving without wings in the wild

i'm no longer trying to be brave

just trying to collect pieces of me

after the fate killed me

i'm just a bird surviving without wings in the world

i'm a victim of 'choices' made by others

who influence my father to push me into hell

and take away my only escape route i needed to fly

Written on- May 12, 2026; 6:17pm.

This poem is part of "Fire in My Dreamland: A Poetry Series". I wrote this poem after a sudden realization struck to me that i have lost all of my potential with the loss of my dream. All my knowledge has gone to a complete waste. 

Mirrored Reality

I don't know how much and how much is not this telling truth

he got admission in a college

but I have a feeling its not what he dreamed of

I recall the glamorous life he lived

while studying to get that one spot

in a place he dreamed of

this reminded me of my own battle

and how I lost in it three times

I finally gave up on my dream

when no road led me there

only bringing me to an end

which was a cliff to end my life

Written on- November 12, 2025; 7:02pm
This poem is part of "Fire in My Dreamland: A Poetry Series". This poem is a continuation of my thoughts that i had shared in my poem titled "Happy But Envious" in the year 2024. It was when i was finally taken down by my fate and had no other way to look for solace. The only possible thing for me to do now was to look into other people's window and capture the feeling of joy and imagine a world where i get to experience that and in doing so, i miserably failed to paint the feelings of the muse in that poem. Maybe his life appeared glamorous to me back then but now it is certainly not the case. 

Next Read: 

• The Art Room↗
• Happy But Envious↗

Him But Not Me

god gave him the wings

god gave him the dreams to achieve

god gave me the wings

yet cut them mid-flight

maybe i flew too close to the sun

and didn't thought about things at all

maybe its what god intended to do

either way its the cruel choice i'm forced to live with

Written on- April 5, 2026; 7:40pm. 

This poem is part of "Fire in My Dreamland: A Poetry Series".

Storm

before the waves could reach me

i sensed the storm in advance

but i chose to live in delusion

that i'll be just fine

i had faith in myself

and then i saw the sunset

i prophesied that ill be doomed

i win't be studying what i wish

no matter the efforts i made

they'll go in vain and i'll reel at night

i was never wrong

i read scripts to live with the pain

Written on- January 12, 2025; 7:01pm. 

This poem is part of "Fire in My Dreamland: A Poetry Series". 

Almost Had it All

i almost had it all

i almost had my dream come to life

but flying too close to the sun comes with a price

then fate decided to burn my wings

and i began to fall aimlessly 

looking for a ground and stay for the summer

but i couldn't tell it was winter in the summer

now i just stare at school bus that refuses to pick me

Written on- January 1, 2025; 9:40pm.

This poem is part of "Fire in My Dreamland: A Poetry Series" and was only written 3 month apart from "A Savior in the War'. In that poem, i talked about staying there till the summer arrives and in this one i'm hoping to stay for the summer but the cruelty is that summer just refuses to arrive for me to even stay. Even though this poet found a savior, the reality is that my midnights are still haunted. 

Rusting Away

in scene one, i was at the top, 

then the camera glitches

in scene two, i was in the motion of free fall

now all i can do is write about my pain,

that's how my days rusted and all of it is now in vain

i didn't held the ropes tight and i fell on the ground

it all feels so nostalgic, thinking about last year

i was working hard, giving blood and tears

for 'golden days' that deserted me away

Written on- January 6, 2025; 9:29pm. 

This poem is part of "Fire in My Dreamland: A Poetry Series".

Buried by Expectations

am i not a child?

i'm burdened with the expectations

i haven't seen the world yet

but i'm supposed to be a 'great wonder'

"is it too much to ask?" they say

while throwing words that leave wounds

one second i'm their child and the next

they wish to forget i even existed

my blood boils whenever i'm compared

with her, him and them for being too stupid

i want to live with my own pace

but the people i know won't let me heal

Written on- January 23, 2025; 9:03pm 

This poem is part of "Fire in My Dreamland: A Poetry Series". It has a little bit parallel to "Valleys to Jump Into" story. This poem is about something universal that anyone can relate at a certain age. This is just my own reflection. 

Pray to the Death

i feel like being left alone

i love being alone, i love my peace

yet contradicting this case is

where alone is antithetical to alone

i carry the burden of my dead dreams

looking for a cemetery under the trees

caught in the maze and in between my wishes

death doesn't comes to me even when i pray for it

Written on- February 27, 2025; 9:15pm.

This poem is part of "Fire in My Dreamland: A Poetry Series". This poem is related to another poem of mine called "Cemetery of Dreams". 

Sunset of my Life: Part-II

tears rolling down and into my mouth

and face turning red with fear

lips began to quiver

as the cloud of thoughts covered me

the scene in front of my eyes was not unsettling 

but certainly a beautiful sunset

yet i felt like a part of me was going down

that was when i could no longer change the fate

Written on- February 19,2025; 7:34pm. 

This poem is part of "Fire in My Dreamland: A Poetry Series". I remember standing on a roof in march 2024, away from the town and just staring at the sunset thinking about my future. I couldn't help but cry how i lost in a battle that was meant to secure my future. Every time i look at a sunset now, i;m reminded of the day when my dream was taken away. 

Sunset of my Life: Part-I

i watched the sunset

sitting on the roof, i didn't know which direction i should look to

i was scared and cried regretful tears the whole night

my heart was beating like crazy, that's when it all began

i never learnt to surrender and abandon myself

but i had to, i was forced to

it was beyond control, my skin was burning

and the ghosts wouldn't leave me alone, even in dreams

nights and days both turned dark

and since then i'm waiting for a sunrise. 

Written on- January 15, 2025; 2:14pm

This poem is part of "Fire in My Dreamland: A Poetry Series". This poem is about one of the brutal moments whose memory refuses to fade away. Imagine standing on the rooftop and looking at a sunset but all you can feel is sadness and pain.

Fire in My Dreamland: The Prologue

one night a fire broke out

in my dreamland

the stars that i glued to the ceiling 

they all fell down

after burning like a comet

and crashing onto me like a weight i must carry

Written on- November 26, 2025; 8:09pm

This poem is part of "Fire in My Dreamland: A Poetry Series". It begins with the metaphor of stars crashing down, tying the feeling i discussed in "Astronomy: A Love I Could Never Have" poem of mine. This poem lays the foundation for gentle readers to understand the inner turmoil in the mind of this poet. 

Astronomy: A Love I Could Never Have

everyone is going to their place of dream

their pen and papers screams pride and dignity

and in the fate's script it only talks about my failure

my efforts led me to nowhere but my defeat

i'm envious of everyone who got to follow their dreams

i learnt about the stars, galaxies and cosmos

so one day i could steal a portion of their shine

to add in my name

learnt a language to study in a foreign land

but my dreams collapsed, i cried, i state

Written on- May 20, 2024
This is the original version of my poem "Cosmic Longing: Un Amore Irragguiungible". Even though i wrote this in 2024 but when i thought my message was not clear in this piece, i re-wrote an entire new poem. Even though the message is same, i treat this one poem as different. It speaks of the heartbreak the earlier one failed to speak. In other words, i should've just stick with this one.

A Savior in the War

oh my! oh my!

i always prayed for days like these

“when i would run late for the class

and someone saving me a spot”

though something it speaks to me

of truth i’m facing bigger than my dreams

“this ain’t your dream college

this ain’t what you worked for”

but something it speaks to me

“avenoir a great this desire, till you see the worst”

a savior in the war

a refuge from my demons

shelter till i fly again

my cold barren land

has already dug my grave

i’ll stay till the summer arrive

Written on- October 3, 2025.
Next Read: Fire in My Dreamland: A Poetry Series↗

Cemetery of Dreams

at the cemetery of dreams

buried but not achieved

their dead soul rises at night

to haunt my existence

and remind those good memories

something i added on the fabric

something i penned on the paper

remain unforgettable

and I find myself reeling and mourning

days turned to nights

and nights turned to days

with no sign of goodbye

Written on- October 8, 2024

This poem is about the loss of my dream. It continues to haunt my midnights. 

Next Read: Pray to the Death↗

Blue: A Shade of Gray

in my boat with a knife

floating on a silent, blue sea

what a serene beauty

bewitched by the cursed one

my boat is drowning

the moment's grace to draw the knife

climbing up high to touch the clouds

gray mountains are challenging me

my leg slipped, i'm falling down

the moment's grace to draw the knife

for me blue is a shade of gray

happiness is an illusion

always ending up in the same old cage

where death keeps a hold on my thoughts

an inner turmoil that is never at peace

poetry i write from every dying fragment of me

About this poem

Written on- July 20, 2024

This poem is about a lot of things that i find it hard sometimes to talk about but i have tried my best to paint it. This poem is about the loss of a dream which pushed this poet into depression and the only thing i want is death, which for some reason just refuses to knock on my door. 

Crying Sky, Silent Heart

staring at the sky, pink-blue

that just cried its eyes out, dark-maroon

emptiness from the inside, don’t know what to do

close my eyes or hide inside my room

i cry in veil

as the man cut my wings

the defeat led to my feet

his actions, his words

still haunts my existence

should i stay or die?

About- This poem is about a certain kind of loneliness and depression that even when you are looking at pink-blue sky, all you can do is pray for death and question your existence. This poem is about the aftermath when you have lost your dream.