149 poems later

149 poems later, one can still trace you in my poems

I wrote you carefully in metaphors and words that scream

In the anagram that holds your lovely name

 

149 poems later I’m still stuck in this hedge maze life

I try to cut my wrist and let my tears speak the unspoken

I’ll try to cut the ones who surround me and be a new version

 

149 poems later, my feelings remain unspoken

For the most part, they’ll forever haunt my existence

Even if I bleed them out on paper

 

149 poems later, I wish to be left alone

i'm afraid to walk into the future

I'm taking my leave here, soon I'll be 20

UPDATE: Okay i'm such a clown for writing this poem because what do you mean i wrote this poem as like a goodbye to the readers but right now the total count of published poem stands at 242. To be honest, when i wrote this poem i was in a different head space where i was thinking about ghosting everyone as i was having hard time dealing with some personal stuff,i still do but that i have already learnt to manage. The point is,i was trying to mark my farewell from sharing my work, which i already did when i explained it in "In The Footnote: A Letter". One more thing the number 149 represent the total number of poems i had published before this one and not how many i have actually wrote because it is in thousand.