November 23, 2024
"Unspoken Affections: A History"
Well, this is not a history lesson but rather than that a story dump about how 'Unspoken Affections' came to be. The story behind is both funny and sad for a reason. I won't go much into details but on November 12, i was planning on going to a local fair and sit on a ferris wheel with someone who later became my muse for my one and only poem "I Don't Deserve You". I have a very weird situation with this person/character. Something in middle of friendship and enemy. I had imagined sitting next to this person because those days we were on good terms. But unfortunately my family didn't allowed me to go there and everybody else (the crowd i was supposed to go with) left for there till they met with an accident. That was the first and last time i had thought of this person as my muse. There is even a more direct poem which deserves to stay in the vault. So fast forward, i had to work on this idea on my own as i sat alone before i heard about the accident. Till then i had laid the plan for a short story. The idea of it was so romantic as it involved confessing on top of a ferris wheel. I was inspired based on a movie and i had always wanted to use this setting for my work. I know it doesn't sounds good to talk about romance while somebody else got into accident. I had decided to rest this idea till somebody else decided to cause a spark!
November 12, 2025
"Letter to my Campus Confessions Muse"
I just want to share some thoughts that are keeping me down. At this point when i'm 20 and looking back on everything in my life, i realised that i have only face the loss whether its of dreams or people, both have haunted my life. I know i sound like an 80 years old writer right now but i'm trying my best to appear cool on the web pages and not super cringe. Entirety of my work, with some exceptions, it is about the loss only that i penned after having very deep conversation with my ghosts at midnight and writing the memories i could recall on a paper and sometimes even use my own diary entries to cause myself further harm.
"Letter to my Campus Confessions Muse"
I just want to share some thoughts that are keeping me down. At this point when i'm 20 and looking back on everything in my life, i realised that i have only face the loss whether its of dreams or people, both have haunted my life. I know i sound like an 80 years old writer right now but i'm trying my best to appear cool on the web pages and not super cringe. Entirety of my work, with some exceptions, it is about the loss only that i penned after having very deep conversation with my ghosts at midnight and writing the memories i could recall on a paper and sometimes even use my own diary entries to cause myself further harm.
Today i'm feeling sad for some reason and this letter is addressed to my Campus Confessions muse. I don't know if this will ever reach you but in my head i imagine you somehow stumbled upon this. I remember declaring that our story has reached its conclusion in my poems like "Side Character" but our story has not ended yet. It cannot end like this. It is still unfolding but under the dark clouds that refuses to rain. Thus, continuing to haunt me. At this point, i'm just ranting but this is how i feel. I don't want this story to come to an conclusion so easily.
The sole reason to even write this letter is to address that i still sit at my shore, waiting for your ship to dock at my harbor. I don't want it to be another addition to my cases of unrequited stories.