21

soon i'll be 21

and time once again won the game

i failed in being a different version of me

i let down myself but caused more hurt to my dead dreams

they thought that they were never meant to be mine

and probably even prayed for the betterment of me

i thought i had finally found an escape

but it is also my mind who is my biggest enemy 

About-This poem was written by me last night as i tried to reflect on my past 20 years, prior to turning 21 in few hours. This is my summation on everything dead that comes to haunt me. Even when writing is my only escape, it still cannot pull me out of my misery. I hope turning 21 is fun. 

Written: May 23, 2026; 9:04 pm

Turning 20

tomorrow i turn 20

another addition to my hellish years

16 was cruel, 17 was brutal

18 was excruciating and 19 was unbearable 

and 20?

i'm few hours away from finding it out

growing up feels so scary

now that i'll be an grown adult

no one allows me to walk at my own pace

i have forgot what a walk is

so let me drown in the ocean of tears

as i mourn again tomorrow my loss of living life without fears

 

About- This poem was written on May 23, 2025; 9:29pm. In other words, i wrote it last night. To be honest, since the beginning of the year, i have been wondering about this and this feeling is scary because i'm no longer 18 or 19. My teenage years are behind me and i have entered into adulthood. I can no longer escape from my little messes as each will come with a price to pay. I can no longer stay grounded as i will have to join the race. 

A Journey to Nineteen

A month named after Maia

A transition from spring to summer

24 rotations on its axis

19 circles round the Sun

A boy born, his future uncertain

Years of hardship, keep enduring pain

Heart shattered at 16,

And haven’t recovered from the loss

Her body cremated and ashes in the river

Never got a chance to bid farewell

Turned 17, oh what a miserable life

School life turned to hell, full of rumors and lies

At 18, graduated from school

His efforts and work never came to ripe

I hope you’re okay on this fine Friday

Accept my regards as this poet turns 19

Cause I haven’t given up yet

 

About- This poet turns 19 today and to celebrate it, i penned a small poem about my struggles and pain ever since i turned 16. Life before 16 was fun, i was happy and enjoying my days without worrying about anything. And after that, life has never been the same. Every single day is a challenge. This poem is a letter to my 19 year old version.