In My Dreams

in my dreams, she was brought back from the sleep

while i laid myself to rest in her place

i was granted one last wish

before i could descent to the deepest parts of hell

in my dreams, she keeps on living

and apocalyptic november never arrived

where i can recall she is gone but she has no memory of it

i just watch her do the silly dance while i cry and thank my god

in my dreams, i was allowed to see her face

and fate didn't betrayed me

i was never present with her in the darkest moment

but locked far away to a hospital bed

The Art Room

In the school's art room

when no one was around

i sat, forlorn by my own grief

as a way to escape my pain

november had already broken my bones

my letters remained ignored

so i sat, and watched a friend paint

marking the beginning of something fleeting

Skeleton Love

through the cracking floorboards

i hear voices from the past

when it's cold outside

and leaves are taking their final breath

all stories that started 

found their endings in november

and like a skeleton ghost

they hang on the door, staring at me

The Promised November

the promised november never arrived

it's still the same covered in fog

and smoke from the old world

when my life was at crossroad

november's blood moon

and stars told a different story of my fate

i die every night and think about it

when my god promised to love me more

In the Colour of November: The Prologue

voices buried deep in the ground

and ashes sprinkled into the river

i'm suffering from a melancholic fever

where my day appears gloomy and night midnight blue

in the shade of moonlight obscured by fog

the ghosts of the dead and almost forgotten

they all comes back to life 

to haunt and live in the colour of november

In the Colour of November: A Poetry Series

Maybe this time we will part ways. who knows? Writing is a whole different thing from publishing. Sometimes you write, sometimes you share what you wrote and sometimes you just burn whatever you wrote. This new poetry series falls in the second category as i wrote it while telling my mind that it's the last chapter that i must put out and add a period in the story. I wrote these because they were meant to be shared as a way to let the ink of my pen fly away in form of texts on internet web pages because that way i'll be free and i won't have to keep these with me. This new and possibly final piece of work by me is called "In the Colour of November". 

The reason i chose to call it that was a small idea that i had based on a short film script i wrote called "The Art Room" but at that time, the title sounded a bit cringe. So i came up with something else and this is what that title was. As i kept digging in my dairy entries, i came across a common pattern that is the month of november lore. It's more like a curse and i'm nothing but scared every time November comes around. You never know what might happen to you next. This month holds the memories of a loved one who died, a friend who betrayed me, a new beginning and its ending (it was fleeting), memories of getting deserted and a lot more than what i can put into words. This month makes me suffer from melancholic fever and everything appears to be obscured by fog. In conclusion, its color is haunting not because of the fog and cold but because of the painful memories it carries.

The poems in this series are as follows:

Main Theme Poem- In the Colour of November: The Prologue

• The Promised November
• Skeleton Love
• The Art Room
• In My Dreams
• Love in November
• Two People by Fire
• Loud Thoughts
• Smoke and Cigarette
• Happiness
• Wild Currents
• Born in November
• Porch
• Lighthouse
• Death in November

Ashes of Us: An Epilogue

i don't know when but 

i stopped receiving invitations,

i was already running low-

low on the number of people i could count,

they say everything happens for a reason

i also know that much now,

but i hate that it all happened to me

fate made me realise in the cruelest way possible,

that i'm on my own on these empty roads

yet it's good to walk alone, knowing i'm alone

I Live Through Escape

from a place of sadness and heartbreak

i write this as i say

"now i always disappear on people, 

you see this has been a great escape

others first performed this one on me

when i almost lost my sanity"

i slowly disappeared from my friends life

so the call lines finally end up rusting

before any betrayal comes my way

this is my new greatest way to love, live and escape

Small Circle

they all pushed me to the edge

and i fear this poet quickly adapted with it

everyone left after they entered, with sirens in the background

that told me enough and about the need to survive

everyone killed a version of me

yet i fight, heading back into my safe space

a circle that is very small

and only holds space for this poet

Closure Beyond Reach

all you wanted was the closure i never got

when you expressed the will to reunite

your crime was to abandon us at a time

when the need for a savior was too high

i got your message and plea in my court

you stood like a fool and defended your crime

calling my convictions a theatrical show

and apologizing in the end after stabbing a dagger

Dramatic Poet

the closest of my friend chose to desert me

your letter never engraved a word called sorry

but you shamelessly pleaded your case

that how it was me who was the problem

the closes of my friend chose to desert me

the one keeping a record of my wishes, my muse

and all the untold secrets i never refused to tell

every second chance was a new way to betray

maybe you are happy with your new friends

maybe you are happy with your new found love

maybe you are happy with chasing your dreams

maybe i'm happy with you no longer being in life

i'm this dramatic poet who should direct a theater

my friend returned to me after committing infidelity

i'm not his lover but a savior when he is in crisis

i wrote this plea as a way to channel my emotions

Pain as Art

losers made me realise what i'm really good at

throwing hands was never my way to fight

until they arrived and 

i broke what was broken by them

i found a way to turn this pain into art

every betrayal that came my way

changed my view about a friend

including the way i see this thing called friendship

A Cry of Caesar: Et Tu, Brute?

it happens when you least expect it

"et tu, brute?" were the last words he uttered

before falling down on his knees

a witness to a horrific scene

where Brutus stood with the crowd of assassin

with his dagger in Caesar's heart 

it happens when you least expect it

Caesar's cries echoed through the halls

the hurt was caused by a dearest beloved friend

who promised to stood by and defend the empire

Did Brutus ever shed tears or did he ever stopped his hands?

23 stabs but only one hurt that came from the one who he loved

Lies

no real friend would play with your feelings

to have a control over how you feel

misleading remains the biggest cause

why so many never come out alive in this game

no real friend would undermine this bond

unless they never considered it from beginning

to some being craved is the one great thing

no matter even if the cost is a friendship

lies were fed for months in his head

that maybe there could be a thing in between

lies were shattered on the night of big reveal

when other confessed saying, "i knew it"

Morgwen

friends that were born under the stars

one in noble family and another in the lowly class

Morgana as in the royal family of Camelot

and Gwen in the lowly ones in outskirts of capital

she never once looked down on her

treated her as a sister, a friend to kill someone for

fate always shows its fangs when the time is right

illegitimate daughter of the king and a witch in disguise

her biggest crime was to be born in that family

who hunts the magic worshipers, calling their existence a crime

to survive one must layout their plans carefully

so did she and planned to kill the father and beloved brother Arthur

who shall Gwen respond to?

Is it the cries on the outskirts of their friendship?

or be a sword for the man she is in love with

A wife to the prince of Camelot

so she made a quick assessment

defied all her relationship with Morgana

and stood in the court of justice to defend her husband

Lion's Way to Live

you cannot expect to trust a lion after removing his teeth

you know it can easily kill you with his claws

you cannot expect a traveler who went to a new south

to return to his old south in the same color of flame

he learned new ways of life, forgetting the ones he left behind

he learned to betray to make his way to appeal his kind

Traitor

he sat beside me as a friend

while hiding his claws behind the back

and whenever i tried to reclaim my power

my bones were broken by the fate's plan

i never said no and allowed him

to commit the brutality

was it that i couldn't differ between truths and lies?

or i could never believe this new idea of him?

Judge

this war was started by your cannons aimed at my door

now i'll be the judge, i'm prepared with my spade

to bury us six feet below the ground

i'll make sure you never rise again

i'll be the hunter and you will be my prey

and this time you will run for your life

when i become a monster you always claimed i was

till i leave every lingering memory of us in ruins

To Be Used Is To Be Wasted

the magnetic pull that draws the connection

it can become weaker once you use the same poles

a friendship built upon the idea of being wanted by others

will always shatter over a little discourse

one wanted to be loved even if it was as a friend

one wanted to use the other's skill for his own great good

we were always meant to fall apart

the signs were there but you chose to ignore

to be used is to be wasted

that was the message from my greatest god

Their Laugh and My Cries

i was crucified by my own friends

for the sake of their own happiness

my tears became their way for joy

yet i never learned my lessons

i was sacrificed by my own friends

they found pleasure in my pain

a sadistic thing i always tried to deny

till i heard the evil plan one noon

i was crucified by my own friends

the re-telling feels like a stab in the wound

no joke was funny, nothing about me was

i was the wallflower they always dared to hunt

A Flower Torn

you lost your dignity in my eyes

the moment i sat down to write-

about your impudence and lies

that you threw at me and said goodbye

a coward in the skin of a roaring lion

threw stones at my door after setting it on fire,

allow me to brief you about the damage caused

karma will always follow you, or whatever path you stroll

skin in flames, tears and my pain

you caused it all while i was grieving someone's loss

thought you loved me like i was your favorite flower

but you tore me apart from petal to petal

your prayer to ascend for heaven, will always remain as a wish

years of torture that you have me hiding under love's disguise

it will come to hunt you just like your memories haunt my dreams

and in that moment i will know that was my revenge

Ashes of Us: A Poetry Series

I guess i'm a big liar. I promised myself that i will let "One Final Truth" be my last truth i'll ever speak on but here i'm back knocking on your doors with another poetry series based on the experience of this poet, based on what i read, watched and listened, all together combined into a series of poems which deals with something universal that i believe every human has gone through. This time we will lean into theme of heartbreak and betrayal rather than dark, gothic storyline. This new poetry series is titled as "Ashes of Us" and  this specific idea had been sitting for far too long on my table but i never chose to further dive into it. These poems are based on one painful chapter of this poet's life that i always wanted to forget but you see the more something painful sits in silence, the more stronger it starts to haunt you. I always find it hard to talk about this chapter, maybe because the wounds are still fresh and they get even deeper whenever someone new throws shards of glass at me, reminding this poet of the pattern that i always failed to recognize till it was too late. 

Ashes of Us is a poetry series that deals with the betrayal and heartbreak surrounding the friendship. You see both betrayals and heartbreak from a friend are hard to move past. They leave a lasting impact on you, on your view about friendship, pushing you into further misery and leaving you with no choice to never let anyone in your safe space. I'm afraid this is what i have become and i can't recall when i last received an invitation. Not everyone is your friend, not everyone is cruel and not every kind person will be your guide. This poetry series is my summation on this thing called friendship that will bent the way you bent it, the choice is yours in the end that whether to ruin it from your own hands or preserve it like a piece of art in a museum. Like every story, this poetry series tells a story using 5 Arc part.The poems in this series are:

Arc-1 First Cracks

• A Flower Torn
• Their Laugh and My Cries
• To Be Used Is To Be Wasted

Arc-2 Fire of Anger

• Judge
• Traitor

Arc-3 Blades of Betrayal

• Lion's Way to Live
• Morgwen
• Lies
• A Cry of Caesar: Et Tu Brute?

Arc-4 The Poet's Armor

• Pain as Art
• Dramatic Poet

Arc-5 The Ashes of Us

• Closure Beyond Reach
• Small Circle
• I Live Through Escape
• Ashes of Us: An Epilogue

Our Song in Pink and Gray

our song is me writing- 

"poetry about those stolen stares

songs about that beaming smile

and even a whole film script about it"

the ink of my pen bleeds in pink

but later turns to gray

i weave our memories as part of a big story

with a climax in which you

devoured me with a kiss

but the falling action sets me adrift

to wander on the seas wide

with no cure to this disease

our song is a song in which-

"nothing happens but desertion comes in light

to pull out my nerves and haunt my midnight

i lose my sanity and cry till my eyes starts to bleed"

About this poem

Written on- December 23, 2024; 8:19 pm

This poem is part of a very big narrative where everything ends in a tragedy. 

Safer Than Mourning

in every utter of my words, there's a existence of you

in every stutter of my words, the breath carries the name of you

your indelible eyes sparked something dangerous and wild

and i find myself floating on currents wild, with risk of drowning 

but drowning in your eyes feels safer the mourning

mourning the loss of us that will come without warning

About this Poem

Written on- December 17, 2024; 6:00 pm

This poem is about the feeling of being scared of losing someone close you find solace with. Its dramatic with the use of line like "the breathe carries the name of you", which shows this poet's intentions towards this muse and how deeply i was into the idea of love. 

Eyes That Speak

we had a lot to say, sadly we still do

could've said that in the moment when the world was below our feet

but the fear, the caged beast inside us needed our heart as a feast

so we chose never to say but enjoy the very moment 

yet our eyes whispered and held the secret meetings

the tides turned and suddenly goodbye came to say hi

About the Poem

Written on- December 14, 2024; 9:21 pm

This poem continues that one particular story in my work where i suddenly find myself standing near the end to part ways with someone and say goodbye.

Lived Too Many Lives

my body ache and feel so old

my soul torn and winter's cold

i've lived too many lives

they say, "teenage is the best years of life

but carelessness can bring you demise"

lost in the petty things of life

i lost a precious chapter of my life

they say, "care for each other, care for the poor

but care even more about your mother"

forgot to tell her how much i love her

i still cry thinking about her last smile

they say, "love is a game

you should play it with caution and care"

i let the insecurity clouds surround my world

so i lost one more embracing touch

i want to set myself free

to adrift on the vast sea

or fly in the sky like any bird

i've lived too many lives, i'm tired of breathing

About this poem

Written on- November 10, 2024

This poem is about everything that i have written so far. A summation of my life. 

November 8 and Eclipse

my elegy-

my muse covered in death

my wistful cry for help

innocence in her eyes

her last words and hug with a embracing smile

promises made and promises fade

8th of november, when moon turned red

the curse would lift but my roses turned black

the great eclipse returned and claimed another laugh

death of me inside

my lover absquatulated me by that time

lost two souls

on and by-

november 8 and another goodbye

two different years but same eclipse

cursed my sky, stole its shine

About this poem

Written on- November 7, 2024

This poem is about two most important people in this poet's life that i had lost on and by November 8, 2022. I believe in astronomy and this poem certainly has ties to the certain events. This is all  i can tell you. 

Astronomy: A Love I Could Never Have

everyone is going to their place of dream

their pen and papers screams pride and dignity

and in the fate's script it only talks about my failure

my efforts led me to nowhere but my defeat

i'm envious of everyone who got to follow their dreams

i learnt about the stars, galaxies and cosmos

so one day i could steal a portion of their shine

to add in my name

learnt a language to study in a foreign land

but my dreams collapsed, i cried, i state

About this poem

Written on- May 20, 2024

This is the original version of my poem "Cosmic Longing: Un Amore Irragguiungible" that i re-wrote on July 24, 2025 because i thought my message was not clear in this piece. But now that i think about it, that certainly was the most confusing version of this poem i had wrote. Even though the message is same, i treat this one poem as different. It speaks of the heartbreak the earlier one failed to speak. 

Sinking Under Waves

my shaking hands and long sighs

for who i am, i feed on delusions

that someday the bow in my chest will fall

and a new dawn will arrive at the door

the weight i carry- of emotions, stronger than waves

waves that are sinking me under their weight

i close my eyes and teleport to secret gardens

i'm too weary to bear this pain

About this poem

Written on:- December 11, 2024; 11:42 am

This poem is about depression and hope that is devil disguise as beauty. So no matter how much you hope everything is going to be fine, fate throws another problem at your face.

Looking at Stars

just looking at the stars

my curiosity reaches its high and

tells me to fly through them

i will enter the interstellar space-

a place between the stars

that will send me love for coming trillions of miles apart

the love which is different

from the one that you get on your planet

where bodies are buried everywhere and ashes in the soil

the love which is different 

that will never hurt you and

one can dream of it after death

just looking at the stars 

makes me want to fly through them

for once i can't wait for everything to end

About this poem

Written on- February 9, 2024

This poem has been sitting in my drafts for over a year now and i never tried to finish it until today. I had to edit some lines to match the setting of this poem. This poem is about escapism, the kind of escapism one can have through death where i feel like their soul will fly through the stars. Whenever i look at the sky, this has always been my wish. 

The Wall of Memories

staring into the abyss, i heard some voices gentle

so i wandered into the forest, to follow those voices

followed the stairs that led

                                          deeper

                                                     and 

                                                           deeper

but my investigation brought me to a halt

the voices turned into screams and screams into howls

and suddenly the dark clouds obscured my eyes

saw a mammoth wall painted  in murals

in red, with memories and faces of people

a sudden pour of rain brought them to life

and they began to chase me to tear me

                                                               piece

                                                                        by

                                                                             piece

in the disbelief i closed my eyes

to make sense of what i had just seen

the light was ahead but far from the reach

suddenly all echoes disappeared in the haze

stuck in a maze,

a cycle of repetitive events

wish it was just a flicker

but this feeling is chained around my neck

About this Poem

Written on- December 21, 2024; 10:02 am

This poem is based on one visual i once saw in my head and i tried to put that scene into words to explain how it looks like being haunted by memories who are long gone from your life. This is me visualizing my that image in form of words. 

Ravishing Summer Morning

waking up in the morning

to find bright light on the face,

there are birds chirping near the window

and in the next scene water dripping from the faucet

the silence i feel in the countryside feels

bigger than the world out there lying-

awaiting for me to step outside

and nothing else but to watch buildings?

ravishing summer morning,

a reminder to go out and 

play by the river or

spend the whole season listening to music

About this Poem

Written on- June 5, 2024

This poem is my idea of a perfect summer, well not perfect to be exact. However, this is based on an image in my head. Its perfect for somebody like me who lives in the countryside, far from the sea shores or the Himalayas that sits far in the north. I wrote this poem last year however some lines were different than this one and i was unable to finish it because i was stuck on the idea of what i really think a perfect summer. So instead of being relatable, i chose to write my version of summer is. Summer is long gone in my region and currently its monsoon (rainy) season but i don't want this poem to sit in the drafts for another year. 

Her Body, The Battleground

she screamed into the camera

and became a voice of millions

someone called her a child of wealth

while someone called her fury fake

it all came from the mouth of an ill man

who would sit on his porch, almost at the death door

for how long should a fool ignore, the capitalism and greed?

he lost his shame when he started talking about her body

can a woman do something without being sexualized?

she sailed through the ocean to confess her anger

maybe the world needs more angry women

since a men can only talk about sex

when the floodwater rises, so does his fists

when the drought hits, his anger reaches peak

he needs someone weak to prove he is still a man

thus hiding violence under cover of crisis

Colonial Hunger

they fight with their bows and arrows

while facing the one standing with a gun

they fight with giants millionth times their size

in terms of wealth, they're richer than old pharaohs

they fight with the monsters lurking towards their land

to claim it as theirs but they weren't even born there

they set the stage and talk about love

while their hunters hunt the indigenous

The Great Collapse

children dying in the global south

we cannot drink oil and gas

coral reefs are dying in the ocean

we cannot eat coal and live

species are facing extinction

he keeps filling his vaults while 

children starve from hunger

and diseases spreading like wildfire

this poet finds it preposterous

why should i be afraid of the one in wrong?

to say out loud their names-

the one in power and the one pulling the strings,

its a game of power and money- 

an endless hunger of greed,

ecosystems collapsing

forests in fire, cracks in the land,

oceans are toxic and storms wrecking havoc

and the cost is the humanity that we must preserve

our own kind keep pushing their agenda, calling this crisis a hoax

people are dying across the globe

we cannot survive from eating coal

Not a Hoax

"the oceans are becoming more salty

our planet is turning into a complete gas chamber"-

to someone i sound like i am a case of immediate help

who needs serious knowledge on what a religious text has to say

you see the more the merrier is not the right saying

when it is breaking the natural balance

oceans are turning salty, trapping more devilish gases

coral reefs are dying that harbors most of marine life

climate change is as real as the death and not a hoax

its real as houses burning down from forest fire

its real as your world getting flood by floodwater

or rising sea levels that will soon reach your door 

The Political Circus

there is a clown in every political house

he who denies the climate crisis

and calls it a "hoax"

there is a clown in every political house

presenting his circus show

to please his own kind

there is a clown in every political house

who loves to be at balls and parties

thus betraying his own nation

Helpless in Crisis

in one dream this poet saw a horrific scene

where i was sitting on top of the house

and yet water had reached that high

submerging everything in its way

in the same dream,

i saw a child getting washed away

while his mother screaming for help, ready to jump

to rescue but is held back by others

this poet tried to jump

but my hands were tied in a chain

as i helplessly watched with tears in my eyes

i saw the child drown to the river bed

Defenders

they flooded the towns with screams

that was louder than voice of their leaders

they flooded the towns with their signboards

calling out for help in the global south

the indigenous living deep in the forests

fighting everyday with a giant

with force so brutal that breaks their legs

but they still stand up and protect the land

the rich continues to get richer

while poor is forced to eat the mud

someone has gold shining across the neck

while someone's eyes shine with sparkling stones

Mother and Child: Part-II

the little child with innocence in his eyes

trying to calm his mother down

as tears keep rolling down her eyes

he continues his search for food in the mud

he did found something he could share

but its just one rotten potato covered in soil

its crazy how he has to live with this

when he has barely spent half a decade on earth

the one with money flying in his private jets

throws his food away like its a trash

while the same child walks miles

with his mother in search of same trash

Mother and Child: Part-I

she kept on trying to calm her child down

crossing the floodwaters to reach the shore

while she held him high above her head

she almost drowned in that raging flow of water

she kept on trying to calm her child down

keeping her hopes high for the sake of child

to see him live a future she knows is not protected

but must give him one at the cost of her own life

Aftermath: Part-III

families searching for their loved ones

after the mud has settled to the ground

and water is flowing at normal pace

but all that left are the little memories

in forms of clothing, pearls or

in their decayed form as a skeleton

Aftermath: Part-II

they all witnessed the horror with their eyes

while this poet was horrified from what i saw on tv

families stuck between the flood water, holding each other close

gets thrown off from the height like a rock falling from a waterfall

how can that one fool sleep at night after watching this?

just a little message from him into local newspaper

and the story settles to the ground, never rising again

until more atrocious scenes baffles the mankind

Aftermath: Part-I

the town that once sat in the foothills

one night felt the terror of nature

someone was dancing with their lover

while someone was having dinner

and someone was playing with their kids

it all came down like the ruins of an empire

the rocks started to destroy the homes

then the water that followed swept away everything

Little Fuckers

there is no one this poet hate more than

those little fuckers with power in their hand

who would do nothing but sit back and watch

as the world continues to burn in the fire

there is no one this poet hate more than

those little fuckers with hands full of money

who sold their soul to build the empires

that run on the back of the poorest

there is no one this poet hate more than 

those little fuckers who have everything

but choose the silence as a way to escape

while the planet continues to cry out for help

House on Fire

the man set his own house on fire

and looked at the animals who are running away

he screamed at the trees for not taking the toll

even though ht was the one who started the fire

he blamed the clouds that won't rain

for bringing his house down to ashes

the man set his own house on fire

allowed the invasion of aliens

that destroyed him and all his principles

thinking it won't cause him the harm

forgetting a scorpion will bite your hand

even if you feed him

One Final Truth: The Prologue

dear readers

let me be an invitee to read these files

about the same place where you live but

chose to live in complete denial

don't be a traitor, don't ignore the cries

this place gave you oxygen, water, air and

every source meant for your survival

even in the adversity of times

dear readers

our house is on fire, the ice is melting

you're breathing smoke, and million species at risk

and each day a new revelation in these files

the man who drink champagne after

signing deals that harm your land

he lives in a palace built by his greed

while the future generations search for their place

One Final Truth: A Poetry Series

A poet can lie about his muse but he certainly cannot deny a universal truth. This poetry series is testament to a truth that even this poet cannot deny. Every line in the poems here is a scientific fact and not made up scenarios in this poet's head that i always romanticize for some reason. This poetry series marks my final chapter and as i head into it, i wanted it to be about something that is very important to me. Before i was a poet, a writer or anything, i was a climate justice activist. Art is a form of protest and i wanted to use my final words for something that i always stand for, which is climate justice. Its not just about climate change but also about social justice. If there is one part in the world where colonialism still continues to prevail then there is no  way that you can call this world a beautiful place to live in. Colonialism was and has always been the major root behind the current crisis and it was worsened by the capitalism. Leaders across the world continues to live in their million dollar mansions, flying in private jets to attend the climate talks only for them to never reach any concluding decision. Now and then a clown comes in power that halts even the little progress made calling climate crisis a "hoax". There is nothing this poet hates than those "little fuckers" and yes i like to use this respectful word for people like them who do nothing for their own people. 

This poetry series is called "One Final Truth" because its a truth no one can deny. Even if i might have lied in my previous poems or told a truth, it doesn't matter as climate change is a truth i cannot deny. Remember folks, the real power belongs to the people. This has started to now sound like a political essay and i ain't afraid of that because art has always been political. So support those who are with you in fight against climate crisis. I have made a playlist of songs from artists who openly support this fight, so go support them. The poems in this series are:

Main Theme Poem: One Final Truth: The Prologue

1. House on Fire
2. Little Fuckers
3. Aftermath:Part-I
4. Aftermath: Part-II
5. Aftermath: Part-III
6. Mother and Child: Part-I
7. Mother and Child: Part-II
8. Defenders
9. Helpless in Crisis
10. The Political Circus 
11. Not a Hoax
12. The Great Collapse
13. Colonial Hunger
14. Her Body, The Battleground

Seashells and Sorrows

The ocean is home to a curation of shells,

The type you admire, the kind you call into,

The ones that whisper stories the sea never tells.

The peach and the pink, the pastels and the white —

All of them bring such a sense of delight.

I trace my finger over each and every grove and indent,

Each fracture and dent,

Wondering what they have seen, and what places they went.

I wonder if they are signs — heaven-sent.

This poet wonders — does she know the truth that is grand?

The shell that is pretty mesmerizes those little eyes

While the sea calls out her name for help.

Sand between her toes and wind through her hairs,

She felt every emotion one feels at a shore.

The next scene was haunting — it took away her innocence.

Fishes started to wash up on the shore,

The water began to form bubbles.

As she looked at her mother, who

Whispered with her eyes- 

“Sorry, my precious little baby,

Forgive the humankind,

For the future we will leave behind.”

The Prophets of Broken Fates

The woman was a prophet,

though many forgot it.

She read the fates for others,

she helped many lovers.

Never once did she look into her own soul,

she never tried to find what would make her whole.

But one day, she wished on a star—

that she could find a love that would go far.

A man with a long beard prophesied his fate,

said he would meet someone great,

who orbits the same star

and would understand him—till they fell apart.

His life was a crowded place—

full of strangers who had promised to stay.

The man forgot his roots, forgot where he came from.

His fate, too, was read by another—who failed.

The Quiet Exit

Amidst the unsettling crowd of animals,

I still feel alone, even if you're sitting by me.

There is no cure for my loneliness.

The feeling is similar to what great poets must've felt—

that forced them to ascend from this land,

by escaping through a beautiful route called death.

It is a path with many pitfalls,

but I feel at home, drifting off into the emptiness.

It doesn't feel unlike the feeling of loss—

it comes with a sense of finality

that I have experienced before,

in some vague memory of the past.

Now, I'm floating offshore,

taking my final breath.

The Reply

I read it in the manuscript of yours where you called me out.

You said:

“I jumped off the boat because I found a hand to hold.”

My love,

you were not paying attention at all

Our boat would have drowned

carrying the weight of us

if I had stayed any longer,

with no hint where we should go

It felt right in the moment

You were keeping our hands tied

I wanted to let go

before I sink us to the floor

it was a test

that I don't know if I failed or passed—

but it was fate’s plan

I couldn't change

The Question

i refuse to let your absence define my love for you

Is it that you're not here, now that I know your true value? No

I gave you the warning signs that you were losing me

Your grip around my hand was becoming too weak,

and my lips were turning red in pain

but you looked at my face and screamed,

“We are just fine"

We were a passenger on a boat whose sails were torn,

but I still held hope we'd cross these waters,

and reach the land,

i thought maybe we would find peace once we reach the shore

But you jumped off the boat—

because you found someone else to hold

Velvet Coffin: An Epilogue

mirror on the wall reflects my pain

it is a witness of my harsh reality

the pain i romanticized about someone

is a fake reflected image of my thoughts

the pain i never wished to tear my flesh

is the real persona i try to hide

A Solo Heart

I was always on my own

even when i was deserted by you

for months, your silence haunted me

and a battle continued to rage in my heart

as i set out to seek the answers-

"are you there? are you alive?"

that futile simmer turned gray

which was meant to be full of love

i held meetings in my mind

my heart was asking to believe you

but my mind concluded you betrayed me 

Stars That Once Spoke

this affair was never fated to turn into love

something that started under the moon and stars

something that was ill fated from beginning

now who should i blame? you or me?

i carried us up the summit

but you and i were both sick

the clouds were turning gray

and everything began to disappear in the haze

the castles we built, the promises we made

turned out to be a mirage in my mind

you never meant a thing

i was a tool to fulfill your greed

a savior in times of crisis but you forgot about me

i longed for your love whole summer

even when i knew i was a prey 

A Passing Object

for who i am right now,

i'm but the result of someone's monstrous generosity

first they would show you the bright colors

and later sink their teeth into your skin

was it a cactus hidden among the flowers?

or was it a snake in the lake?

this poet couldn't differentiate as

they both share their thorn and fangs with you

and for so long, i tried to make sense of it all

only to realize i was a passing object you never needed

The Last Appeal

two years ago, on Christmas eve,

i made an appeal and stood in your court

i asked you to revoke my status-

from a stranger to a lover, or friends who love each other

but you declared me guilty

and sent your troops, with cannons aimed at my gate

if you had asked me, "will you survive?"

my answer would've been a big no

but here i am writing this one final ode

because i finally survived in that war

Grief in the Fog

sitting by the grave of our love affair

lavender fields are now left barren

echoes of your voice lingers in the hall

and words i penned start to haunt

3 years gone by in blink of an eye

winter nights and fog touching the ground

blurred my periphery, left no space for closure

can someone tell me for how long should i mourn?

Sacrs and Wine

i showed you my scars

and you licked them as if they were a wine

healed my deepest wounds

just to make space for new ones

i showed you my scars

and in desperate times became my beacon

killed my ghosts chasing me at midnight

just to become one in my life

Departure

you are a loss i will forever mourn even in my sleep

paralysed by the ghost of you that haunts me in dreams

i gave you my heart till you bleed it out

forced me to say words i never once believed

they say people are always blinded by the truth

"forever lost" is truly the lost case

i was here bleeding at the shore

when you departed to another sea

Thought Born Ghost

you ate my heart with your bow in it

while i had a choker around my throat

and without the one which would keep me alive

my body forgot its work and gave up

i sacrificed myself for a ghost

that was born in my thoughts

i tried to touch your face

but it started to fade away 

i kept on screaming your name

trying to reach your hand

but you were never here-

you never hurt me,

you never slit my throat

you never tasted me like wine

Naked Gaze

i can't get enough of your stares

as if they want to leave me in ruins

by eating my flesh and bones

i can't get enough of your stares

as if they want to undress me

without you ever touching me

Sacred Ritual

let's meet tonight in cemetery 

to perform our sacred ritual where

i hold you close and we dance in the dark

there is a sword in my back

and a glass of wine in your hand

to fill it with my blood

let's meet tonight in cemetery

to perform our sacred ritual where

you betray me for one last time

as you're kissing me and pushing the knife 

deeper and deeper into my heart 

and sky echoes with my cries

Be My Death

be my death and wear my bones

be a ghost in my life and

come to haunt me every night

i'll sit at the cemetery

or you can sit by my grave

just for once be my death

a reason i could happily die

life feels too much

let it be one of my escape

use your knife and

make me bleed till

all that is left are my bones

or be a ghost in my life and 

come to haunt me every night

Velvet Death

slit my throat with a sword

speak in a language only we know

look into my eyes with that daring gaze

that knows the secret you once spoke

"i love you" is what your lips said

with your hand around my throat

i was struggling to breathe and

you kept on confessing with each soft breath

Your Signature

your imprints on my throat

they all speak my biggest truth of

the night we both held each other close

and your lips marked my whole body

your imprints on my throat

a sword you entered into my heart

watched me bleed and smile

don't rain those tears tonight

Trigger

let me be the danger you carry around

darling place your gun on my head

pull its trigger when it feels too much

even if i'm hanging by the thread

I'm bleeding while lying on the ground

my imbecile lover's sword in my chest

let go of my hand and don't be my savior 

save yourself before heaven falls upon us

Velvet Coffin: A Poetry Series

My last poetry series "Valleys to Jump Into" haunted a few of you and i believe it was not really my best work but i did got many compliments from friends who texted me how much they liked it. So thank you for that. Now its obvious why i am here and the reason being a new poetry series is on the way. Its my departure from something dark to even more darker work. However this time you won't need therapy because its laced in the color pink, meaning its sprinkled with love even if it might be dark, sadder. This new poetry series is called "Velvet Coffin".

This poetry series is something that i have always wanted to write. It is not just about the theme of it but about the people who inspired it. Its about the love that destroys you but also about loving the pain that comes from a different kind of love. In simple terms, this series is about finding love in every bleeding caused by the lover and finding pain in every hurt caused by a lover. It uses swords, knives, guns, cemetery, blood, black rose, wine, cigarette, constellation, stars etc as a metaphor to convey all my feelings. That is why this series is divided into two parts: Part-I romanticizes the pain you want from a lover and Part-II confronts the pain that came from the other lover. That is the whole poetry series surrounds the theme of "pain". To some, this may read like toxicity. To me, this reads like a worship. Even if i'm bleeding, i want to smile. And when i'm smiling, i want to find the hurt that one hide behind a smile.  I wrote the Part-I about someone whose character is nowhere near what is written in poems but i cannot confirm that about the character from Part-II. The poems in this series are:

Part-I

1. Trigger
2. Your Signature
3. Velvet Death
4. Be My Death 
5. Sacred Ritual 
6. Naked Gaze
7. Thought Born Ghost

Part-II

1. Departure
2. Scars and Wine
3. Grief in the Fog
4. The Last Appeal
5. A Passing Object
6. Stars That Once Spoke
7. A Solo Heart

Main Theme Poem: Velvet Coffin: An Epilogue

Valleys to Jump Into: An Epilogue

he never learnt to fight back

he never learnt to give up as well

he climbed the mountains

with a weight on his back

he jumped from the mountains

and into the valley

but still survived

living a life

with no place to die

i recall the last words

he died fighting bravely in the war

a child born under dark clouds

you were never the problem

i hope you rest in peace

i hope sun shine bright in next life

so go descend for the heavens

and may i never lift my pen again

to write atrocities committed

on the name of love

Defeat

he is not cut out to live with all of this-

to live while bearing the scars

countless of spears in his chest

yet still breathing

blood all over the floor, returned defeated 

every time he went on the war

with a hope that someday a savior will arrive

bearing a sign of peace and not bruises from a father

Collection

he collected all his hopes, dreams and wishes

hid them under floorboards of his room

letting them all rest in darkness

while burning in fire that comes from loss

he collected everything he had in himself

every star that was showed him

and when nights begin to bleed memories

they all rose back like ghosts in the fog

he collected every last bit of innocence

it was no longer the way to live

he must abandon the house he lives in

in order to fight something that isn't his

he told his child version to stay quiet

listen the voice through the cracks

silent all the voices from under floorboards

and rest in peace if he can't run away