Ashes of Us: An Epilogue

i don't know when but 

i stopped receiving invitations,

i was already running low-

low on the number of people i could count,

they say everything happens for a reason

i also know that much now,

but i hate that it all happened to me

fate made me realise in the cruelest way possible,

that i'm on my own on these empty roads

yet it's good to walk alone, knowing i'm alone

I Live Through Escape

from a place of sadness and heartbreak

i write this as i say

"now i always disappear on people, 

you see this has been a great escape

others first performed this one on me

when i almost lost my sanity"

i slowly disappeared from my friends life

so the call lines finally end up rusting

before any betrayal comes my way

this is my new greatest way to love, live and escape

Small Circle

they all pushed me to the edge

and i fear this poet quickly adapted with it

everyone left after they entered, with sirens in the background

that told me enough and about the need to survive

everyone killed a version of me

yet i fight, heading back into my safe space

a circle that is very small

and only holds space for this poet

Closure Beyond Reach

all you wanted was the closure i never got

when you expressed the will to reunite

your crime was to abandon us at a time

when the need for a savior was too high

i got your message and plea in my court

you stood like a fool and defended your crime

calling my convictions a theatrical show

and apologizing in the end after stabbing a dagger

Dramatic Poet

the closest of my friend chose to desert me

your letter never engraved a word called sorry

but you shamelessly pleaded your case

that how it was me who was the problem

the closes of my friend chose to desert me

the one keeping a record of my wishes, my muse

and all the untold secrets i never refused to tell

every second chance was a new way to betray

maybe you are happy with your new friends

maybe you are happy with your new found love

maybe you are happy with chasing your dreams

maybe i'm happy with you no longer being in life

i'm this dramatic poet who should direct a theater

my friend returned to me after committing infidelity

i'm not his lover but a savior when he is in crisis

i wrote this plea as a way to channel my emotions

Pain as Art

losers made me realise what i'm really good at

throwing hands was never my way to fight

until they arrived and 

i broke what was broken by them

i found a way to turn this pain into art

every betrayal that came my way

changed my view about a friend

including the way i see this thing called friendship

A Cry of Caesar: Et Tu, Brute?

it happens when you least expect it

"et tu, brute?" were the last words he uttered

before falling down on his knees

a witness to a horrific scene

where Brutus stood with the crowd of assassin

with his dagger in Caesar's heart 

it happens when you least expect it

Caesar's cries echoed through the halls

the hurt was caused by a dearest beloved friend

who promised to stood by and defend the empire

Did Brutus ever shed tears or did he ever stopped his hands?

23 stabs but only one hurt that came from the one who he loved

Lies

no real friend would play with your feelings

to have a control over how you feel

misleading remains the biggest cause

why so many never come out alive in this game

no real friend would undermine this bond

unless they never considered it from beginning

to some being craved is the one great thing

no matter even if the cost is a friendship

lies were fed for months in his head

that maybe there could be a thing in between

lies were shattered on the night of big reveal

when other confessed saying, "i knew it"

Morgwen

friends that were born under the stars

one in noble family and another in the lowly class

Morgana as in the royal family of Camelot

and Gwen in the lowly ones in outskirts of capital

she never once looked down on her

treated her as a sister, a friend to kill someone for

fate always shows its fangs when the time is right

illegitimate daughter of the king and a witch in disguise

her biggest crime was to be born in that family

who hunts the magic worshipers, calling their existence a crime

to survive one must layout their plans carefully

so did she and planned to kill the father and beloved brother Arthur

who shall Gwen respond to?

Is it the cries on the outskirts of their friendship?

or be a sword for the man she is in love with

A wife to the prince of Camelot

so she made a quick assessment

defied all her relationship with Morgana

and stood in the court of justice to defend her husband

Lion's Way to Live

you cannot expect to trust a lion after removing his teeth

you know it can easily kill you with his claws

you cannot expect a traveler who went to a new south

to return to his old south in the same color of flame

he learned new ways of life, forgetting the ones he left behind

he learned to betray to make his way to appeal his kind

Traitor

he sat beside me as a friend

while hiding his claws behind the back

and whenever i tried to reclaim my power

my bones were broken by the fate's plan

i never said no and allowed him

to commit the brutality

was it that i couldn't differ between truths and lies?

or i could never believe this new idea of him?

Judge

this war was started by your cannons aimed at my door

now i'll be the judge, i'm prepared with my spade

to bury us six feet below the ground

i'll make sure you never rise again

i'll be the hunter and you will be my prey

and this time you will run for your life

when i become a monster you always claimed i was

till i leave every lingering memory of us in ruins

To Be Used Is To Be Wasted

the magnetic pull that draws the connection

it can become weaker once you use the same poles

a friendship built upon the idea of being wanted by others

will always shatter over a little discourse

one wanted to be loved even if it was as a friend

one wanted to use the other's skill for his own great good

we were always meant to fall apart

the signs were there but you chose to ignore

to be used is to be wasted

that was the message from my greatest god

Their Laugh and My Cries

i was crucified by my own friends

for the sake of their own happiness

my tears became their way for joy

yet i never learned my lessons

i was sacrificed by my own friends

they found pleasure in my pain

a sadistic thing i always tried to deny

till i heard the evil plan one noon

i was crucified by my own friends

the re-telling feels like a stab in the wound

no joke was funny, nothing about me was

i was the wallflower they always dared to hunt

A Flower Torn

you lost your dignity in my eyes

the moment i sat down to write-

about your impudence and lies

that you threw at me and said goodbye

a coward in the skin of a roaring lion

threw stones at my door after setting it on fire,

allow me to brief you about the damage caused

karma will always follow you, or whatever path you stroll

skin in flames, tears and my pain

you caused it all while i was grieving someone's loss

thought you loved me like i was your favorite flower

but you tore me apart from petal to petal

your prayer to ascend for heaven, will always remain as a wish

years of torture that you have me hiding under love's disguise

it will come to hunt you just like your memories haunt my dreams

and in that moment i will know that was my revenge

Ashes of Us: A Poetry Series

I guess i'm a big liar. I promised myself that i will let "One Final Truth" be my last truth i'll ever speak on but here i'm back knocking on your doors with another poetry series based on the experience of this poet, based on what i read, watched and listened, all together combined into a series of poems which deals with something universal that i believe every human has gone through. This time we will lean into theme of heartbreak and betrayal rather than dark, gothic storyline. This new poetry series is titled as "Ashes of Us" and  this specific idea had been sitting for far too long on my table but i never chose to further dive into it. These poems are based on one painful chapter of this poet's life that i always wanted to forget but you see the more something painful sits in silence, the more stronger it starts to haunt you. I always find it hard to talk about this chapter, maybe because the wounds are still fresh and they get even deeper whenever someone new throws shards of glass at me, reminding this poet of the pattern that i always failed to recognize till it was too late. 

Ashes of Us is a poetry series that deals with the betrayal and heartbreak surrounding the friendship. You see both betrayals and heartbreak from a friend are hard to move past. They leave a lasting impact on you, on your view about friendship, pushing you into further misery and leaving you with no choice to never let anyone in your safe space. I'm afraid this is what i have become and i can't recall when i last received an invitation. Not everyone is your friend, not everyone is cruel and not every kind person will be your guide. This poetry series is my summation on this thing called friendship that will bent the way you bent it, the choice is yours in the end that whether to ruin it from your own hands or preserve it like a piece of art in a museum. Like every story, this poetry series tells a story using 5 Arc part.The poems in this series are:

Arc-1 First Cracks

• A Flower Torn
• Their Laugh and My Cries
• To Be Used Is To Be Wasted

Arc-2 Fire of Anger

• Judge
• Traitor

Arc-3 Blades of Betrayal

• Lion's Way to Live
• Morgwen
• Lies
• A Cry of Caesar: Et Tu Brute?

Arc-4 The Poet's Armor

• Pain as Art
• Dramatic Poet

Arc-5 The Ashes of Us

• Closure Beyond Reach
• Small Circle
• I Live Through Escape
• Ashes of Us: An Epilogue